A Journey to The San Francisco Dungeon

A Journey to the San Francisco Dungeon

San Francisco. One of the worlds most iconic cities, it's easy to see why people find their way in droves to the City by the Bay. Whether you've come looking for the sites, the people or the food there is something for everyone in this fog wrapped metropolis. Now for the confession, I only live about three hours away from this fascinating city and until a few weekends ago I had never gone for more than a doctors appointment of some kind. Except for my audition to the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, but that was still a get in and get the heck out type of situation.

So when I found myself free at the same time that my sister in law Colleen Douglas had a rare weekend off, there was only one thing to be done. Grab my trusty plaid backpack and head off on another adventure. So where to begin? There are literally thousands of things to do in this conundrum of a town. It has history, it has the keys to the future, beautiful scenery, amazing architecture, museums, theaters, nightlife, shopping, China Town and the most amazing food every where you turn. Not a place to entertain a diet, even if San Francisco does have a reputation for healthy eating. Don't get me wrong, you can find some of the best gourmet clean eating types of food you can imagine....but right next to that restaurant is going to be one that offers something so sinful you may find yourself wanting to confess gluttony to the next passing padre. But for us, nothing else would do than to find ourselves traipsing through San Francisco's newest attraction, the San Francisco Dungeon.

But the best way to start any tale is at the beginning and I'm jumping ahead of myself as usual. Colleen and I left my house a little after five on a beautiful Friday evening and it wasn't long before we found ourselves wishing we had been able to leave a few hours earlier. Traffic is never a pretty thing as you head toward the Bay area but during rush hour on a Friday night? Oy. That's all I can say about that. Oy.

Just as we got to the Bay Bridge, my handy dandy navigation system alerted us to the fact that what should have been about a twenty minute drive could potentially be over an hour more of a journey thanks to an accident on the bridge. Noooooo. Colleen, who loathes traffic with a burning fiery passion, and myself decided to take a gamble that the accident was an older one and decided to defy the system. Rebels. Our gamble turned out to be a good one as we went over the bridge. It was a bit tight but we made it to our hotel in far less time than the hour detour would have taken us.

Now I have often found that hotel ratings can be tricky things. What rates a three and a half star room in one town can mean a wholly different thing in another. As we would find out later that weekend, but that is a tale for another day. The Wharf Inn turned out to be a very pleasant surprise. The room, while a little on the small side, was spotless, comfortable and had a very nice perk that I wasn't expecting. Free parking. Seriously, if you haven't stayed in San Francisco be warned, a lot of hotels down here are going to charge you for parking even if you are their guest. Space is at a premium in this grand old town. It's also only a two minute walk from Fisherman's wharf which was awesome. If you're looking for a nice place to stay in the city, I highly recommend it. It's not fancy, but the next time I head out this way I know where I'm staying.

The Wharf Inn

When Colleen and I arrived at the room, we immediately divested ourselves of our luggage, transferred my most important purse related items to my camera bag and headed out to see what kind of trouble we could dig up. The first thing we realized upon reaching the street was that we were starving. As is often the case for me, I had worked so hard during the day that I had forgotten to eat anything at all and Colleen had taken a page from my playbook. However neither of us wanted to stop to eat a full dinner since we wanted to make sure that we gave ourselves plenty of time to see the Dungeon. So we decided to hit a small restaurant right across the street from the hotel called Hot Spud. I mean how you can go wrong with a baked potato as a snack?

We headed inside and looked at the menu, which was really quite varied for what we were expecting. I had no idea that the humble baked potato could be prettied up into anything resembling a gourmet item but let me tell you.....oh. my. god. Colleen ordered The Wharf, which was a huge potato that contained crab, corn and onion drenched in the most amazing lemon burre blanc sauce. I ordered the Shrimp Spud which came with shrimp dressed in a chipotle tarter sauce. I have never eaten a potato so fast in my life. It was gigantic but before I knew it I had literally inhaled it. I have to admit that I've dreamed of that potato a few times in the last few weeks.

Fortified we made our way over to the San Francisco Dungeon, which was only a few hundred feet away from our hotel. I wasn't sure what to expect coming to the attraction. After all, it had only been open for a few weeks. Was it going to be a scary haunted house type of gore fest? Something more along the lines of a wax museum? What it turned out to be was a type of living history tour, which highlighted the darker parts of San Francisco's history. I love history. I am one of those people who is fascinated by the stories of the people who have come before us. Add a ghost story to it and if it's produced even half way decent, you've got my interest.

The San Francisco Dungeon

Ticket prices are generally twenty six dollars a piece but being the savvy traveler that I am, I looked it up on Groupon first and got us a deal for twenty six dollars for the pair of our tickets. BOGO, you gotta love it. I upgraded our tickets at the door so that we could also see Madame Tussuad's which is right next door, for another ten bucks. I also purchased the fancy walking guide for another three. Ok, so maybe my savviness is really just a sign that I get tourist fever but who hasn't fallen victim to that at least once in their life?

The attendant sent us off to explore the Dungeon with a warm, 'Have a terrible time!' and we found ourselves walking into a photo setup. We stopped and posed for several pictures, knowing immediately that there was almost no chance that we weren't going to buy them. Tourist fever is a dangerous thing. For my wallet. We walked down a set of stairs and found ourselves face to face with a creepy man wearing a beat up top hat. He advised us that the next tour would get started in about twenty minutes and to please join the line. He also advised me that unfortunately I was going to have to leave my camera in my bag as there was no photography during the tour. He consoled me by telling me to feel free to admire the rats. Rats? Well what do you know? There in front of me was a Plexiglas box bearing old gold mining equipment, crawling with vermin. Nothing says class like a rats in a glass.

When the tour began, we walked through a set of doors and found ourselves standing by an old snake oil wagon. Even though the attraction is underground, you felt as if you could be standing in the middle of one Northern California's famous golden plains. We were met here by Violet, our initial guide who was dressed in a sort of madams dress and carrying a parasol she didn't mind poking people with. She invited one of tour group to spin a wheel to win a fabulous prize. As long as the wheel didn't stop on retribution every one in the group would get a share in something glorious. The girl, Amy, spun the wheel and it stopped....on retribution. Yeah! From there we made our way onto a large elevator platform which jumped a little underneath our feet. Oh this can't be good. It turns out that I was right to be worried as we were plunged into darkness and then felt ourselves begin to plummet down the mine shaft. It turns out that in the San Francisco Dungeon, retribution is swift.

As we continued through the Dungeon, we found ourselves facing the spirit of an Ancient Franciscan monk, lost in a mirrored mine, on trial before a hanging judge, drugged and kidnapped by the King of the Crimps and his partner the infamous Miss Piggot, and finally jailed on Alcatraz. It was fascinating to see over two hundred years of history play out before our eyes. I think my favorite part of the experience was the real boat ride that you take underneath the streets of San Francisco. Least favorite? Getting poked in the kidney by the Crimp. If I was one of the Stooges it would have been a why I outta moment.

As we neared the end of the Dungeon, Colleen and I looked at each other and agreed. The San Francisco Dungeon is something we definitely want to come back to with a full contingent of our fellow adventurers.

We exited in the gift shop, as so many attractions do. Now I admit that I normally speed through this

section as fast as I possibly can yelling 'Thanks for the adventure!' over my shoulder as I do, but Touristitis had already set in. Plus I'm on the hunt for a new mascot for my adventures. Thirst, the bat like creature from the Great Horror Campout, had become my de facto totem during a few of my earlier adventures. I have come to realize that I really miss his mug.

As we became adjusted to the bright lights of the shop, we looked before us and there was a stand with our first memorabilia purchase of the night. It was a beautiful booklet they had prepared while we were on the tour that contained all the pictures we had posed for at the beginning of the evening. Finding ours, we instantly had a giggling fit over some of the photos. I learned over the course of this weekend that my scared face is hysterical.

Now as some of you may be aware, despite my natural shy nature, there are moments where I simply cannot stop myself from talking to strangers. Be they mutants, bikers with tattoos of skulls in top hats, or unsuspecting bystanders, I really can't help it. That being said I got to chatting with the supervisor of the photo portion of the attraction, Michael Wincott, about my adventures and the pictures I both take and borrow for my reviews. He graciously gave me permission to post the photos that they took of us. They work for Magic Memories, a company that takes photos at attractions, and they certainly know how to take a memorable picture. Plus the rest of their group was kind enough to pose for me for a group photo. After all it's only fair that they don't always have to be the ones behind the camera. A big thank you to Khayree Lopez, Timothy Wilson, Heidi Parker, and of course to Michael for their beautiful smiles.

We finished our shopping, and although we came away with a bunch of neat loot for our families back home, I failed to find a mascot. Lots of spooky stuff inside, but nothing that screamed out to me that it needed to come with  me on my adventures.

Realizing that the time had grown too late for us to hit Madame Tussuad's, we decided that we would come back in the morning. It was well into the evening by this point and we were starving...again. The potato seemed a distant memory so we wandered down the wharf looking for a place that would serve us both fresh seafood and warm sourdough bread. Neither of us has families that enjoy the bounty of the ocean so it's not often that we get to indulge our passion for poisson....fish. We spotted the Fog Harbor Fish House, which promised both seafood and warm bread, so we made our way inside eagerly. Colleen and I may have gotten a bit carried away. We ordered enough food for a small party and by the end of the meal we were bursting at the seams.

We started off with a bowl of fresh clam chowder, plus a basket of the most amazing

sourdough bread and a layered martini a piece. The chowder was fresh, thick and frankly wonderful. We probably could have stopped there and been completely satisfied....but we had already ordered and more was on the way. Soon to come was a bowl of their crispy bay scallops served with a spicy jalapeno aioli, writing about it is making my mouth water. I love spicy food and combined with the sweet scallops I was a very happy adventurer. The portions are HUGE and I realized that there was no way I could feasibly eat the platter of fresh seafood we had ordered like gluttons.

The platter contained half a steamed crab, muscles, clams, shrimp and corn, all of which was drizzled with olive oil, butter and herbs. It smelled like heaven and despite feeling like I was about to explode I dove right in. I am ashamed to admit that although we were able to put a large dent in said platter, that we left a good deal of the amazing food at the table. We didn't have a fridge in the room and there would be no way to keep any leftovers. An over site that I will not make again the next time I head back down this way.

Full to the brim, we made or way back to our room to collapse in our beds. We had so much more left on our itinerary that we wondered how we were going to be able to cram it all in the space of a single weekend. We drifted off to sleep to dream of the spooky streets of San Francisco and overflowing platters of seafood. The next day would bring another string of experiences that everyone should have at least once in their lifetime.

On to the next adventure!