Surviving Heretic - Haunted House

Surviving Heretic - Haunted House

Haunted attractions are rapidly becoming my thing. That is not to say that I started off intending to be a shadow addict...but here I am. The truth is that for a period of about six years I couldn't watch anything even remotely scary. Not since the remake of the Dawn on the Dead gave me a phobia and turned me into a big scaredy cat. Imagine my grown self having to give herself a pep talk when getting out of the car at night because some part of me was afraid of a zombie hiding underneath the car. Not my proudest moment I can tell you. But somehow the power of my imagination has lessened a bit and I find myself loving the scary scene. My big problem is that I tend to giggle my way through anything remotely frightening which kind of lessens the scare power of any attraction. So where in the world could I go that might actually give me a jolt of terror?

The answer to this question was in the brilliant mind of Adrian Marcato's Heretic, a haunted house on steroids. This isn't your typical "jump out and scream boo" type of haunt. Heretic is a dark adventure where the inhabitants can grab you, rough you up and wring a scream out of you. So who in the world would want to undergo such an experience? Insert image of me jumping up and down like a little kid wildly waving her arms in the air. What can I say? In the last few months I've developed a give-me-what-you've-got type of attitude. Adrian's crew lives to please.

So what is Heretic? It's actually a series of haunted houses that Adrian has been putting on. One where you can only gain admittance by making a reservation. Once inside, the participants get a chance to develop into the story, discovering with each new addition you attend just how dark the imagination can truly get. This particular episode revolved around a cult obsessed with pain, sex and madness. If you want to get a peak at what devious adventures he is developing for the future follow the link. It's a trip well worth it.

Heretic - Haunted House

After seeing what they had to offer I knew this was one haunt I had to review. Reservation in hand I got in my car and drove the six hour and change drive to L.A. in the evening after working a full shift. Actually this is where my adventure truly starts.

You all know how I tend to be big innocent...yeah yeah I know that sounds strange, but it's the truth.  Along with that innocence comes what my friend, Debbie, likes to call an injustice button. If I see a fight happening that seems unfair, you can bet that I'm going to jump in and even the score. Most of the time this is a nice thing, most of the time it's also not a physical fight. This time I almost got my tail handed to me, by the person I was defending.

A couple of hours into the journey, I stopped at a Santa Nella gas station to grab a Coke. I was driving late in the evening and I not only was craving the dastardly beverage, but also needed a jolt of caffeine to keep me awake in the dark warm silence of my car. As I came out of the store I saw a man dragging his crying female companion by the arm over to their truck and I felt my injustice button punch in. He was shaking her like a rag doll and you could see that he intended to show her the worse parts of his character. What the hell? She's crying jerkface and you're throwing her around? I found myself over by the couple as if by magic, where I demanded that he stop. He, being a woman-hitting pig, ignored me. Until I called the size of his manhood into question of course. Loudly and fervently. True to form he backhanded me, like a weak little girl might I add. Note about me, I'm a black belt. What? With as much trouble as I seem to attract that's a necessary skill!

Anyhow after he slapped me, I introduced him to a good old fashioned knee in the groin. This is the point where I intended to give him a lecture about treating a lady with respect....when his girlfriend launched herself at me screaming like a banshee! Apparently beating up her boyfriend for beating her up is on her no-no list. Having no desire to fight the woman who had momentarily before been a damsel in distress, I disengaged from the fight and got the hell out of there. I stopped a little while later to relay the experience to my usual Adventuring team, who are now called the Noisy Bastards (because they keep both Matt and my neighbors up on game nights)....and my buddy Casey reminded me firmly that I should mind my own business. Eh, if someone looks like they need help I'm going to help them end of story.

Hours later, I arrived at my hotel, exhausted and only slightly the worse for wear from my tussle with la grande douleur dans mon cul. I was booked for the first night of my Adventure into the Historic Mayfair Hotel in downtown L.A. This nineteen twenties creation is supposed to be one of the grand dames of old Hollywood culture. Where the golden age actors celebrated after the very first Academy Awards. Times have changed sweetheart. Times have changed.

The first thing I was confronted with was that most of the letters of the sign were burned out, which gave the building a faint Tower of Terror type ambiance. Okey dokey, that's really just a small thing. It happens to the best of places. Except that this was just the tip of the iceberg. Not only did I have to drag my exhausted rear end multiple times to the front desk to get a working key....where the snippy front desk blamed my cell phone for demagnetizing the key. By the way, I did some fact checking on that statement and it's a load of bull. Scratches or bends on the card are what cause the strips on the back on the card not to work. Cell phones are not the culprit. The room I paid over a hundred and twenty dollars a night for was tiny, filthy and in possession of a used freaking condom in the shower. This is not the Great Horror Campout People. YUCK. I think the part that bothered me the most however, was that they were shooting a porn on the other side of my wall. Beyond the fact that I'm a blushing maid at the ripe old age of thirty two, hearing a woman get cut off in the middle of an "orgasm" and then five minutes later pick right back up where she left off is beyond not natural. It's just plain disturbing.

The next morning I made my way down to the breakfast that had come with my stay....something I was worried about but in the end was safe enough. Can't go wrong with a box of dry frosted flakes. I don't put milk in my cereal anyway so that was fine by me. In the ten minutes it took me to walk down to the bottom floor and then back to my room on the fifth floor the darned key decided that it didn't want to work again. Grumbling I made my way back down to the lobby, to get another lecture from the snippy woman, and then back up to room. To discover that the stupid key STILL DIDN'T WORK. Luckily one of the cleaning ladies, who was a real sweetheart, saw me on the verge of a nuclear moment and took pity on me and let me in. Bless you lady, bless you.

Checking out with relish I headed over to the second hotel on my list, the JJ Grand. As soon as I

drove up I took a sigh of relief. It was a large beautiful building nestled between a church and a large synagogue. I parked my car into valet and then spent a few minutes humming "One of These Things is Not Like the Other" to myself. Apparently the JJ Grand is located in Korea Town. Everyone in the building was Korean and needless to say that I am not. Despite the faint feeling of not fitting in, my hotel room was clean, large and well appointed. I would recommend this room any day of the week.

After checking in I made my way over to the secret location of Heretic Haunted House...sorry ladies and gentlemen, if you want to know where it is then you're going to have to make a reservation. Those are the rules.

I was going to be joining them several hours early so I could interview the cast and crew as well as get a feel for what it takes to get this show operational. Upon arriving, I did my usual pep talk of not being shy and headed into the building. Right off the bat I felt right at home. This is a fantastic group of people and they did everything in their power to make me feel like I wasn't a nuisance as I followed them around with my camera and asked them my questions. I have discovered that I have a wholly separate voice for when I do interviews which amuses me to no end.

I asked Adrian how this idea came into fruition and he explained to me that he began working as a monster in haunts after attending them for years. The first to be added to his credits was Knott's Scary Farm, where he worked for four years in various positions and monster roles. After that, special effects make-up began to take over most of his time and his first feature was as key make-up artist for the Black Dahlia Haunting. From there he worked film after film, including titles like Hatchet 3 and VHS 3. The idea for Heretic came from a tragic true story from his past. A friend of his was murdered and mutilated with strange symbols carved into the body. After that he began writing scenes and developing his ideas. He even experimented on himself by having three friends abuse him psychically to make sure that his ideas could provoke the right response.

Sharing the helm of creating Adrian's darkest dreams are his creating partner Jess and right-hand-man
Matt Rosvally. Jess is the wardrobe and sound mistress for Heretic, and helps to mold the characters into something truly terrifying. She initially studied special effects and screenwriting in San Diego and her talents have helped shape the attraction to its terrifying zenith. She has written three short films including Dream of Hell, which was her big break. She has a wonderful mind for fashion and crafting the atmosphere of fright. She also has a knack for adding in some of the more "dented bits" that make up the disturbing environment.

Matt is rather like me with his list of job titles. He is a director, writer, actor, magician, producer, special effects artist and occasional grave digger. In 1998, he joined the Society of American Magicians under the guidance of veteran illusionists Bill Andrews and Peter White. For six years, he trained as an actor at the Neighborhood Playhouse and the Professional Performing Arts School in New York City. He performed in a variety of Off-Broadway shows including Neil Simon’s The Good Doctor and Sam Shephard’s True West.

 In 2005, he attended the film course at the New York Film Academy, leaving with his first short movie titled Safety Net. In 2009, Matt graduated Full Sail University with a Bachelors Degree. After graduation, Matt worked as an intern for Producer Frida Torresblanco of Pan’s Labyrinth notoriety. In 2010, Matt shot the award winning short documentary, Manhattan’s Monster, about New York horror performance artist Sammy Mena. Shortly afterward, Matt moved to Hollywood, where he has set up shop for his Production Company, Sepulture Productions. Under the Sepulture Productions banner, he has produced the award winning web series Horror Show Theater and co-produced the underground horror simulation Heretic. Season one of Horror Show Theater can be watched in full on the Sepulture Productions YouTube Page, Sepulture Productions, which I have included the link for.

Sepulture Productions

There was one last scare master that helped to shape the moments designed to break you out of reality and shove you head first into the story. His own story will be left in the shadow of mystery but I will share what I can. John Granillo was the baddie who followed you from the moment you were pushed into the scene until the moment they released you. Under his tutelage the scene became more intense and drastically more terrifying. He also has no qualms about literally throwing you around. He wasn't satisfied until both he and his victim were covered in blood. Watching him in action was really quite awesome. We also shared a moment of "Hey Where Do I Know You From" right from the get go although we never were able to figure out where that feeling came from. If anyone can solve the mystery fill me in. It's still driving me nuts.

I had a blast following around the actors and actresses who were involved in this haunt, my favorite being Mel Turner who allowed me to follow her from the moment she sat in the make up chair until she was deep in character. For the record, her make up artist is none other than the extremely talented Naomi Mua who did Rams incredible make up for the Great Horror Campout. If Mel looks familiar it may be because she played in House of Manson. She's also a world class sweetheart and I loved talking with her.


I wandered around for a few hours and took buckets of pictures, including ones that had me blushing for inexplicable reasons. I even had to text message Colleen at one point and remark that I didn't know where to look. She laughed and told me to look at what was presented and that yes she was challenging me to do so. Damn it. Challenge accepted. It's not that I am ashamed of the human body....it's that I'm a world class dork. I blush, I stammer and then blush some more. You must excuse me for that. But I digress as usual.

After forcing myself not to look away from my new scantily clad friends, I headed out to yet another scary white van....what is it about white vans? This one was a minivan version however and not so ominous as it's hauling counterpart. As I left, I smiled sweetly at Adrian and told him to hit me with the best they had. They drove me over to the starting point and I sat on a stone wall and waited patiently. It wasn't long before they invited me back into the van so I could experience a kind of macabre tour that would lead me to all the places where violent, sexual, and occult related murders had occurred. My tour guide started off jovial and even rather fumblingly sweet, very concerned that I was properly secured with my seat belt. So concerned that he ended up in my lap at one point. I bet you know what I was doing. If you said blushing and starting to giggle you hit the nail on the head.

Eventually we stopped and I found myself sandwiched between both my guide and the driver as one tried to goad me forward and the other attempted to warn me off from my quest with the ominous warning that they intended to rape and murder me. Scary stuff. I found myself walking away from the pair of them, heading toward the building with the driver's ominous last words following me in the darkness. "I warned you."

Regardless I walked to the front door, giggling like a loon the whole time. The gate keeper pounded on the door and two people immediately jumped out and covered my eyes with a scarf. They led me into the building and then shoved me bodily into another room where I was greeted by an older gentleman dressed in a suit. The sterile environment couldn't have reminded me less of a funeral home but somehow funeral director came and stayed in my mind. Hmmmm, well that's a bit creepy. The man led me over to a pair of metal folding chairs and began to ask me the most skin crawling interview questions I've ever experienced. He invited me to close my eyes and when I did I heard him get up and leave the area I was in. Instantly I felt claws crawl across the back on my neck and found myself getting bullied around by an unseen person. I opened my eyes just as an arm wrapped itself around my neck and around my waist and hauled me out of my chair. Instinct demanded that I raise my hands to the arm around my throat but I was careful not to fight back. The man dragged me backwards into another part of the room where he threw me to the ground and then forced me to my back while he began to wipe bloody hands down my body. I found myself curling up trying to get away from the touch but still giggling wildly the whole time. I discovered later that I had bloody handprints in some interesting places. I was left to ask myself...when the hell did that happen??

Then he dragged me up and sat me down on another chair, where a very muscled figured came out

and stood before me. A muscled figure wearing very little clothing. Despite my best efforts I think I was giggling in a very solid stream by this point. Where the hell do I look? Before I could dwell on this too much he had grabbed my hands and fastened them into a pair of rather strange leather cuffs. I couldn't help but wonder why handcuffs had a belt on the top. My first thought is that if this was a real situation I could just grab the belt with my teeth and unfasten myself. Well at least I could have before he shoved a metal device between my teeth which forced my mouth open. The other Noisy Bastards have since advised me that they call this device a lip spreader, which they all laughed at when I told them about it upon my return home. They have to explain stuff like this all the time. I've gotten to the point that if I have to ask I pretty much know it's sexual in nature. 

Anyway, nothing says vulnerable like having said device keep you from closing your mouth as a man inserts objects, that were never meant to be in your mouth, through the hole. Things like a knife and a skinny pair of scissors. When I felt the metal click against my teeth I found myself biting on that damn thing like my life depended on it. Well played Heretic, well played.

Then the strong man picked me up in his arms, which of course had me protesting through the gag that he was going to hurt his back. Leave it to me to worry about my torturer's well being. He carried me towards the back of the room and strapped me onto one of those gravity chairs where they flip you upside down. Oh crud, this doesn't bode well. And of course it doesn't as a young man bearing a baseball bat and another man wearing a skin mask walk in and immediately flip me over. Eep. They began the creepy tasks of cutting my hair and shaving my eyebrows off my face which of course....leaves me giggling. Just as I was left to wonder if I had any hair left on my head, the delightful Mel ran into the room and demanded that they let me go. She unstrapped me from the chair and led me out into an alley. She also released me from the dreadful metal contraption that was making me blush for no reason what so ever. Bless you Mel. Bless you.

Her character which started off so warm and caring soon devolved into something darker and far more scary. Suddenly my savior was an angry drunk who wondered whether or not I was in league with the cult members who had apparently hurt her daughter in the past. She grabbed me roughly and led me over to another doorway where she turned me around by my shoulders so my back was to the door.

Suddenly I felt myself being grabbed again and hauled back into a dark room which was full to bursting with fog. The man hauled me roughly toward the back of

the room where he eventually threw me to the ground. He was covered in blood and I found myself confronting a man wearing a terrifying dog like mask through the haze. The mist was full of other people as well, most of them scantily dressed and drenched in blood. They began to crowd my space and I found myself bounced around from person to person. Eventually a woman wearing only the briefest of lingerie separated herself from the group and leapt upon me to knock me to the floor, straddle me and hold my arms above my head. She shrieked in my face that I couldn't stop what she was going to do to me. I had to wonder what the heck that was going to be when suddenly I was being yanked to my feet and ejected from the room.

I was met back in the ally by Matt....and the journey was over. I had survived! Of course I giggled my way madly through the entire event but it was certainly unnerving. Especially the fog. There is something about only just being able to see your attacker through a curtain of gloom that really sets in the nightmare. Now that was a blast.

I spent the rest of the night hiding in the fog taking pictures of the other victims and watching how they crafted each new encounter to become even more terrifying. By the end of the night I was thoroughly impressed by not only John, Matt, and Mel, but also the amazing Katt Balsan who played the beautiful woman in the mist. She's also as friendly as they get and gives great hugs. Between Katt, the fabulous Thin Man, and Noel Scott who I have discovered does some amazing make up work and gives some awesome camera advise in tough shot situations (Thank you Noel!), I felt completely at ease with the cast.

I will say that my giggling through the attraction was an anomaly. Throughout the night, I witnessed one woman have to use the safe word because she became too frightened, one man pee his pants, and most people gasp their way through the experience in living terror.

You know, I think I'm going to have to initiate a challenge to the haunt world to find a way to scare me to where I stop giggling. Hmmmm....challenge issued!

I have been invited to one of their next extreme attractions, Midnight Killer, in November and I look forward to seeing the terrifying product of Adrian's dark mind.

On to the next Adventure.